Friday October 3

The morning after a gut crashing career and personal moment does not feel much better. The only thing that rolled me out of bed this morning (besides my warm, panting, gotta-pee doggie) was the thought that I did not have to go into work today. I had already asked a week or so ago to work at home today thinking I would drive to Bloomington this afternoon. After protracted discussions with the family I decided to wait and go down Saturday morning...but this work at home gave me the chance to work through my fears and insecurities. I think the gist of all of this is that I really had been sort of riding high and loving what I do and working hard and enjoying the people I work with. I'm not sure if I was given this gift to use the chance to step back and reassess my priorities or what...but it is defnitely creating a fear fueled introspection. I know with great certainty that i am good at what I do..but to survive in the workworld other people need to do that. In fact my 2008 goals are based on people seeking me out and coming to me and being a good leader. At the end of the day I am scared, shaken, uncertain, nervous, pissed off! Perhaps this will lead to some good creative energy for me...