Friday October 3

The morning after a gut crashing career and personal moment does not feel much better. The only thing that rolled me out of bed this morning (besides my warm, panting, gotta-pee doggie) was the thought that I did not have to go into work today. I had already asked a week or so ago to work at home today thinking I would drive to Bloomington this afternoon. After protracted discussions with the family I decided to wait and go down Saturday morning...but this work at home gave me the chance to work through my fears and insecurities. I think the gist of all of this is that I really had been sort of riding high and loving what I do and working hard and enjoying the people I work with. I'm not sure if I was given this gift to use the chance to step back and reassess my priorities or what...but it is defnitely creating a fear fueled introspection. I know with great certainty that i am good at what I do..but to survive in the workworld other people need to do that. In fact my 2008 goals are based on people seeking me out and coming to me and being a good leader. At the end of the day I am scared, shaken, uncertain, nervous, pissed off! Perhaps this will lead to some good creative energy for me...

Thursday October 2

Thursday....well fall is in the air. It's cool and crisp and today I manuevered through traffic at the crack of dawn so i could make sure my boss had what he needed for an early meeting. Then...from there the day fell apart. Suffice it to say that I had an innocent conversation with a co-worker where we caught up on the meetings and presentations from the past week and ...it turns out he sits next to a person who eavesdrops on conversations. And not only eavesdrops but eavesdrops and hears pieces of a conversation ...which gets immediately relayed up the chain to my boss who calls me in to his office. The gist of the "relayed info" was that I had loudly and openly complained about my boss and how i did all of the work and he took all of the credit and he was doing a bad job etc etc. Now i work for one of the coolest guys ever. He's smart, funny, dedicated and we have a great repoire and style. But he was pretty bent out of shape. Before the day was over he had checked with others and felt more comfortable about my side of the story. But...I spent the day feeling exposed, raw, completely freaked out and unable to work. Couldn't leave the office because that would make me look guilty and couldn't actually work. For a person who prides themselves on their personal relationships and the people I work with, this took me totally off guard. I went home and drowned myself in two large goblets of wine. Fortunately for me, D called and was sympathetic..he must have known I really needed an ear....what a crazy week! The only bright spot is that this day is the 16th birthday of my little mini me!! Emily Catherine is 16...can you believe it?!??! I remember just being back in Atlanta for maybe 2 days when they called me to say she was born. I was so bummed out. 16 years later she runs on her own time and is still the light of our lives! Love ya, Em Bug!

Wednesday October 1

So the day after an all day-er cranking away at the computer was sort of fuzzy. Our lives at work right now are sort of like a roller coaster....work, work, work like crazy people, then speed to the bottome....slowly, crazily climb to the top, speed like crazy to the bottom. It's a bit insane but "it is what it is" (inside chuckle.) Today I was back at the office, cleaning up, going through mail, remembering to do timesheets, etc. It started off with BRUTAL traffic...I mean crawling on 1-90. I hour and 15 minutes....arggh! The good news is that I came in (late) to staff meeting where they awarded me the ISD Employee of the Month (one of two) and a dedicated parking spot. Woo hoo!! Though I mentioned to the group that parking is plentiful at 6:30 a.m. Crawled through the day but working on an outline for the L1 staff tomorrow. Home about 8...working on creating a layout for the new Design for Life online class which opened today. I am working hard at creating a life which blends fun and creativity with work and responsibilities...oh yea and excercise. I went to the gym tonight (YEA) and then came home, worked on my layout and ended up working on the outline and slides for Tom. Finished around 11 p.m. ...need to be in early again!! No rest for the wicked!

Tuesday September 30

So, after a very late bedtime on Monday, up with the birds on Tuesday. Today is the big EC meeting. Worried about traffic I set up my two computer workstation and work away. Somehow there is a lot of freedome and creativity in working in your sweat pants....coffee, rita, computer and me. So we worked at home, cranking out the numbers, working the cell phone. Lunch was tomato soup and grilled cheese. Back to the computer. Tried to take a nap. Phone kept ringing. In a daze we shut it all down at 4 and went to the store. Today was the deadline for the Studio Calico stamp challenge. Made it fuzzily under the wire. To bed with the October issue of InStyle and a glass of wine.

A week in my life - Monday September 29

So all we loyal Ali Edwards crazy freaks (aka scrapbookers) are working on this project with Ali called "A Week in the Life"...of whoever...so really us.

So Monday, here is the post:
Alarm off at 4:30. Taking the 7:23 train into the city. Woke up to cool over cast skies. Autumn is nearly here. Take a shower. Make coffee. Read email. Forgot to send the new address to my parents. Look at the clock..how can I be running late? Finish email, dry hair, quick makeup. Super quick dog walk...come on Rita...can't you just poop and pee like everyone else on command. My friend Mark Snyder calls when I pull into the station..."I hope it is not too early.."...he makes me laugh. D calls when I am on the train. My boss sends me a text.
So the downtown routine is that I go find my boss, we find a conference room and we work side by side. He goes and gets us lunch at Coozie across the street: Turkey and brie sandwiches with chips and share a cookie. The "deck walk" meeting starts at 1 p.m. It''s pouring rain and dark in the city.....I'm thinking I left my windows open in my studio. Check email, talk to team back at OPC. Finally at 3:30 get a call..the meeting is still on. At 3:45 my boss arrives and we start the rework. Conference call via cell to the finance guys. Yea..they like my graphics! Another director comes in. We commiserate. More walking up and down the stairs. At 5:15 my boss comes down...time to start on the wall charts. We write down all the to dos, brainstorm on things....then it is 6:30. Pack up, my boss drives me to the train station. Dinner at the Corner Bakery. Wait for the train which comes at 6:35. We leave at 6:40. Eat my sandwich. Talk to D. We are both tired..working too long hours. Talk to my dad...his eye treatment is going well. My step mom's is not doing so well. I'm worried. Start a new book. Read my new people mag. Arrive at the station at 9 p.m. No rain, just fog. Home to feed the dog (I'm a bad mom!), walk her around the block..poop and pee. Back upstairs and fire up both laptops. More deck work. Emails and cell phone calls. To bed at 11:15...read a few pages and fall asleep. No more MOnday.

First Red Leaf

Rita and I are walkers. I just have to stand up and say "walk?" and she is at the front door drooling..literally. (Sometimes she interprets that same question as ride because her second most favorite thing is to ride in the car...).
During one of our very early morning walks this past week (AKA average time in to work has been 7 a.m. ) we found our first red leaf..just kind of sitting there glowing at us.) We also love leaves....okay I love leaves. I collect all kinds of leaves every fall (well just the most beautiful ones) and then bring them in and dry them out..and do nothing with them. I have all of these ideas in my head and I do nothing but love them which I guess is just fine. So I posted my first red leaf on my bulletin board at work and just look at it everyday. And that is enough:-)

God Bless Texas

Our hearts and prayers go out to Texas -- especially Galveston and Houston -- during this difficult time. We've heard from most family and friends so we believe most are safe. Texas will rebuild, of course. In the meantime, God Bless Texas.