Thursday, October 22, 2009

Is This What It Is?

Okay, turning 49 was a bit wierd, I admit. But the really interesting thing has been the changes in my body over the last 4 months. It has seemed to happen overnight though that has probably not been the case. Just that I am not spinning and running in a crazy cycle so...now I know that I am not just flushed, I have hot flashes. And now it is not stress it is menopause that is waking me up every 2 hours during the night and making me not fall asleep. And now i know that my digestive issues are not stress and taking a laxative is part of being nearly 50. So, HOLY COW!

For the first time ever, I feel like I am a stranger in my own body. Couple that with packing and moving and cleaning and every now and then trying to look for a job and it is pretty crazy. Standing outside of my body watching myself. Who is this person?

Oddly, only when I interview do I feel like myself. I feel intelligent and reasonable and like I can add value.

Moving in with Donna next week and hoping for some more centered quiet time, more focused job and life searching, more excercise and cooking time and of course more creative and crafting time...

Life....who knew?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

5 on 5th (or the 8th...hey it is close!)

Ugh! I am a horrible blogger and I blame it on Facebook. The free time I have I have been playing with Facebook which is more interactive. So, sorry....my to do list is HUGE!

Lots going on. Getting caught in the last United RIF was definitely not a total surprise.But even when something is not a surprise, it does not always feel good. Ouch. Not wanted. But somewhere in this chaos I feel like I have been given a chance (again) to sort of get my life back. My former boss told me, the first time I saw him after he left, that he was sleeping well, excercising, getting in touch with people, engaging, hanging out with his kids and spending quality time with his wife. Not please, tell me what is wrong with that. The bigger problem is, how come we don't do all of that when we are working too.

So I have a more clear idea of what is important to me which is actually pretty helpful in this search.

Let's face it: the bucket list is a viable thing. Life has a beginning and an end. So why spend most of that time unhappy?

Five Things on the Fifth:
5. Definitely fall, possibly winter. We went from comfortable upper 60's to 40. Just like that. The furnace is now on. Ugh.
4. New doors swing wide open -- a week of interviews and contacts going well.
3. Getting ready to move...why does this always come back around and why am I not more prepared.
2. Getting over the sinus thing and trying to get over the insomnia
1. Feeling more blessed every day. Good things do happen in our lives..we have to be willing to see them.

Happy (almost) Halloween~